Where have I been lately?

I am not who I once was and I don't know if that's a good or bad thing. On one hand, I have learned so much from Houghton about who I am and who I want to be, but I miss the passion that I once had. Sometimes I don't feel like God is my best friend. Why is this? Is he like the sun, he comes and he goes? No, because the Word of God tells me that he will never leave me nor forsake me, but where is he when my world seems so cold and dark.
First of all, I know that I have sin to confess. I have not been pure in my actions, behaviors and speech. Lord, please forgive. Not because of what I've done but because of who You are. These actions are not ones that I am proud of, but I give them completely over to God because he is the only restorative power in my life. It is through his grace that I am saved. God I am sorry! I am truly sorry!
So why do I confess this online, no one even knows this blog exists. It feels good for it no longer to be my secret. Satan no longer has power over me and my short-comings. I will no longer be defined by what I have done wrong. Cleanse me Lord and make me into the woman that I need to be for you. No longer driven by people's opinions of me, or the way I view myself, but by who I am in You. Make me strong enough to stand up for my convictions.

Prayer:
Lord, I am human. I fall. I stumble. I will never be enough. But I know God that you have chosen me, you are looking for me and you love me. Help me to feel that in everything that I do, and respect would be given to you through my lifesong that I want to be continuously singing to You. Help our relationship to grow stronger day by day. Allow me the time to set apart to meet with you. For me to intercede for others, express my concerns and most importantly listen for your voice. You are Holy and Righteous and I choose today to love you with every ounce of my being. From every morning until I sleep, from now into all eternity. Never ceasing. Here is my life and I lay it down at your feet knowing and trusting that You have made me for a greater purpose than I could have ever imagined. I want to love you with everything that is in me. Teach guide and direct my thoughts and actions.

I love YOU! Amen