When the tears came, it was then I heard, "I'm here."

Last Sunday, was a pretty rough day. My best friend at college criticized something I did and it hurt my feelings. It was over a homemade wreath and I cried and got upset with her. I don't know why I just did. It seemed as though my world was slowly crumbling. Thoughts like: "Why am I even here?"; "I will never be a success."; "I should just give up and go...somewhere. Anywhere but here where I do not fit in."


After I locked myself in my room for an hour or so I packed up my things and went to Koinonia which is a time of worship and meditation. I thought right now I need God, more than anything I want to feel loved and accepted for who I am. I feel that the most when I am with Him. So I sat alone there in my seat as the group began... "Tonight's theme will be Deliverance." Excuse me, hold on one second, I just need to go grab like 20 tissues before we get this started. It was as if this was for me, every song and scripture. God created and God-given to me. As I sat there crying about just different things that I had to work through clear as day I heard, "I am here." Not in a booming voice, but one that spoke directly to my spirit. It was Him and He came near. And guess what, I was delivered. I was delivered from the hurt feelings from earlier, just a fresh start.

I don't really know where you (if there are any you's reading) are at right now. If you have been hurt by those closest to you or someone made fun of your wreath, i just don't know. There is one thing I will not do and that is belittle your situation. I hate that when people say it will all be okay. maybe it will or maybe it won't. I only want to give advice keep searching. Keep searching for God and answers and hope and peace and a friend. Whatever it takes, just keep searching. It will find you. He will find you. In fact, He already has.