Who I am Hates Where I am at

It has been about a year and 4 months since I wrote on here before going to Mexico and my life is so different. I now attend school at Houghton College in New York and do not know how I feel about it yet. And that is where my story begins....

College life is good, I am making some friends and finding alot out about myself. However, it is not home and it is not what I dreamt about. It just is. I go to class from 8-2 and homework almost every ounce of my free time and for what? A diploma. an education. This is not who I am, this is not what I have been created for.

Who I am:
~A servant at heart, you have a need and I have a desire to serve you in order to meet that need. Here, I am a nobody. A faceless person in the crowd with no name and with no accountability.
~A worshipper. I long for the day where it will be non-stop worship of my maker, Creator, Friend, and Father. Here I am thankful for the different styles of worship put into the melting pot, but am so disppointed by the lack of authenticity that comes with it.
~A lover who desires to be wanted and loved in return. I put myself out there and become very vulnerable, but for who. I want to be your friend and your shoulder to cry on but I can't if you do not let me.
~A follower of Jesus Christ. He is the name under which I am. Everything I do is done for Him, every breath I take and every act I do it is all done to glorify Him.

So where does that leave me in secluded Houghton? About as far from where I want to be as possible (at this point in time). Even though it is not everything that I wanted college to be it definately has its high points in which shall be saved for another blog. But being here has left me wanting something more as if I have tasted what my future will be like and cannot stop until I am fully satisfied.

My Goals for this next year are:
To be like Christ in everything that I do. To care for the fatherless and humble myself to wash the feet of the wicked. And never stop spreading the message of joy and hope that is found in Him.
To mentor students and call them to a degree of higher worship. One that is based on a genuine love for the Creator.
To make the best out of every situation that I am given. No matter what the cost, I will praise God through this storm.

I pray that I will be on here more often than every year, but I hope when I look back at this a year from now I will not be who I am.

For His Glory,
Staci